Not Final Fantasy
by HaraKyri
Summary: This isn't Final Fantasy! Join Clyde and the rest of HURRICANE as they try to stop KneeRa and save the world from Meet-Eeyore!


**Not Final Fantasy!**

Mudger was a happy place. It was divided into seven sections and had cups balanced on each. Up above was where all the rich people lived, because they had lots of money and could afford whatever they wanted. The KneeRa plumbing company was stationed in the middle of the seven cups. It controlled quite a large area of the Planet by giving everyone water. To do this they had Moko Reactors that sucked dirty water (or moko as they called it) out of the ground and used it for everything. Below the cups was the place called the saucers, down there everyone was happy. They always lent their neighbour sugar if needed and there were plenty of shops in the dark place. It was full of sightseerers, who wanted to visit the weedy church or to glance upon the ghosts of the train graveyard. The tourists brought lots of gil into the city and so everyone was happy.

In one particular saucer a shiny train rolled into the station. Two employees of KneeRa were standing guard for leaky pipes when four people jumped out of the train and thwapped them on the back of the head. They collapsed and the people ran away, leaving their friend on the train.

A fifth person left the train. He wore a purple and black uniform with a giant meat cleaver strapped to his back. The sword didn't make him stand out in a crowd though, his hair was…to say the least. Outragous! It was extremely spikey and had several spikes standing out, facing forward. They looked very impaleable. That wasn't also what made him stand out, it was the fact that his hair was bright pink! His blue eyes werent very outstanding compared to his magnificent "do." The man was an Ex-COMMANDO. As he walked, mothers skirted their children away and men wet their pants when he looked in their direction.

The pink haired man left the train by performing a very concise backflip/rollypolly/ballet twist manouvoer out the door. He grinned and began walking to the exit of the train station. Two COMMANDO's appeared and tried to fight him. The man grinned again, he pulled the meat cleaver off his back, he was fond of that sword. He called it Busty Slime. He dropped into a combat stance, Busty tight in his hands. The COMMANDO's ran at him and the man jumped and chopped their knee's off. The two employees of KneeRa fell to the floor knee-less. Watching helplessly as the man walked off.

He saw his three "comrades" at a gate, he hadn't had time to talk to them properly on the 6 hour train journey so he decided to walk over and talk to them.

They were a strange bunch, the man noticed. One thought he was a pirate and put "Garr" at the end of each sentence, another thought she was a coybow. Her huge hat was so sharp it threatened to decapitate anyone taller than her that stood near. The last was the most obese man the Ex-COMMANDO had ever seen. He talked with a stutter about anything that wasn't to do with food, anything food related he talked about rapidly, or rather, ate rapidly! Their names were Cap'n Obadiggs Sabre Crown Basinstoke, but everyone called just called him Obadiggs, Jessebell and Podge.

"Heya Pardner." Jessebell greeted with a nod of her hat. The man just stood silent.

"w-w-hats, yo-your n-name?" Podge asked uncertainly. The man grinned, took a funny pose and announced.

"My Name, Is Clyde Stroth!" The three looked awe stricken for a moment. Clyde basked in the admiration before a giant hand smacked him across the head. He whirled around, the hand belonged to a small black guy with big hands and an even bigger mouth. It was his "employer"

"OI! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO NEVER ! TO NEVER STAND AROUND ! WHILST OTHER ! CAN ! CAN SEE YOU! NOW GET YOUR ? ASSES OVER TO THE ! REACTOR COS WE GOT SOME ! WORK TO DO!"Clyde massaged his ears, that guy, or should he say kid? Had a **very** loud voice, and just happened to be stood next to him.

Jessebell nodded and ran away, Obadiggs winked and followed whilst Podge looked nervous and waddled after them. When they had gone the small man turned to Clyde.

"I THOUGHT YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD KNOW NOT TO ! STAND AROUND IN A GROUP! WHAT IF ! PEOPLE CATCH ON THAT WE'RE GOING TO ! BLOW THE ! REACTOR UP! SOME ! EX-COMMANDO YOU ARE! OH, AND BY THE ! WAY, MY ! NAME IS TOURETTE!" Clyde didn't want to mention that by the way Tourette was shouting that everyone knew of his plans. Grabbing the small guy's big hand he dragged him off to the reactor.

Who knew what awaited them there.

_I know the entire rewriting the final fantasy as a parody has been done many a time, but I tried to make this one different and sound like I didn't just crap it out. Please review._

_ oh yeh, Tourette likes to swear a lot and fanfiction doesnt allow most of the signs that Barret says in the game, so, my apologies if the swear words just look like lots of exclaimation marks because I dont want to swear, I'm only fourteen and I dont want a fic to be riddled with majorific cursing. what if my parents saw!  
_


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